Habits

Habits are so hard to break. I catch myself falling into the same patterns over and over and wonder why I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. If I'm totally honest with myself, I know the triggers. I know the habits I would like to break. I know the things I need to change. Even last night I fell into my own trap. When my boys aren't here with me I fall into this definite pattern. I wallow. I make myself food or go get take out, I ALWAYS get a huge treat that I definitely don't need and sometimes don't even want. I sit in my room and watch TV and go to bed way too late and then sleep in the next morning. Now I'm all for treating ourselves from time to time but I do this every time my kids go for the night or the weekend. Now I know the trigger, my kids leaving. I know the pattern, food and TV and wallowing. I know the changes I need to make. For now I need to stay far from this pattern so I can break the habit. I need to make plans, flexible ones that I can do on the spur of the moment. So I'm making a list of things that I would love to do, that I can't always do with my kids. We all know our weaknesses, our strengths, our good and bad habits. What are we doing to break the bad habits? What are we doing to take back our lives and not just go through the motions or follow our same patterns over and over? We need to to build on the good habits and change the things that lead us to our bad habits. It's time to live our lives on purpose instead of just letting life happen. I heard a couple lines from a movie that I really liked. A man tells a woman, " I can tell you're a leading lady but for some reason you are playing the best friend." Her response, " You're right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life..." I want to play the lead in my own life.