Life's Punches

I have been thinking a lot about how to break out of myself.  However every time I feel like I am making positive changes in my life, and as a result in the lives of my boys, but then something happens that  sends me reeling.  I used to feel that it would knock me back to where I started from but I have come to realize that that is not true.  It may knock me back a few steps sometimes quite a few but I really have come very far so a few steps aren't as much as it seems at times.  I'm stronger than I used to be.  I still have a lot of work to do and progress to make but that is what this life is for.

I have put some post-its on my mirror.  I'm a post-it girl, I have them all over my room.  But the ones on my mirror are ones that I really need to remember daily.  One is that "It only matters what God thinks of me and what I think of myself".  Too many times I let other's opinions and thoughts of me and my life bother me and keep me from doing what I know is right for me at that time.  I get down on myself.   But I can't let others keep me from doing what I KNOW is right for me and for my boys.  I have been given this opportunity to be a mother and with that responsibility comes gifts to know what is needed and when.  If I am paying attention and listening to my boys, to myself and to my Heavenly Father then I will know the needs of my boys and come to know the things I should be doing for them as well as  for those around me and for myself.  I have to trust myself and put my faith and trust in my Heavenly Father and I can't go wrong.

Another post-it is "I choose to be happy".  Being happy is not a right it is a choice and I need to choose to be happy no matter what is going on around me.  In this life we are to have joy.  I notice that when I really look at my boys and listen to them, being happy is easier.  They are a great blessing in my life and I am so grateful for them.  Also when I get outside of myself and my own head then it is easier to be happy and to recognize the blessings in my life.

Another that I have been inspired to put up lately is "I need to be me and love who I am."  It sounds similar to the first one but to me it is different.  I forget many times and once again let others opinions and criticisms invade my head and I forget who I am.  I am an awesome person with great potential who has come a long way.  I am a good mom who loves and cares for her boys and thinks more of their needs than anyone else's.  I am a daughter of loving Heavenly and Earthly Parents who want me to succeed and realize my potential.  I am a sister and a friend.  I am a niece, cousin, and aunt.  And although I am thoroughly aware of my weaknesses I have strengths and gifts as well.  As I come to realize those gifts and the strength within me I can help bless not only my own life but those around me.            Ultimately I am Me and I am awesome. ;)

Writing My Resolution

So I decided a little while ago that I needed something positive to focus on in my life.  I had a therapist ask me who I wanted to be and what I wanted out of life.  I had a hard time answering and that bothered me. I couldn't come up with what I wanted for myself or who I wanted to be. It had been so long since I had thought about what I wanted out of life.  My focus had been saving my marriage, helping my husband and my kids.  When the marriage ended my focus was my kids and for me, trying to survive.  I'm done just surviving.  I want to thrive, for my sake as well as my children's.  So I decided I needed to write a declaration and resolution for my own life.  For those who have seen the movie Courageous I was inspired by that.

I went home and tried to write it but I was stuck.  I finally had to think about it from the perspective of what kind of people do I want my kids to be.  I realized that I needed to be an example of those things that I want for my boys.  Kids learn best by example.  If I want them to reach for their potential then I have to be reaching for mine.  So I made a list of qualities that I wanted for my children to have.  As I worked on this it did turn from what I wanted for my kids into what I wanted for myself.  What kind of person did I want to be.  I was tired of just wishing my life was different.  Funny enough it made me realize that I didn't want to be perfect, I just wanted to be better.  I also realized that family is a good focus.  It's the best place to show service and to learn from each other.  I want family to be important to my boys now and as they get older.  But I won't always have little boys around to take all my focus, they will and are growing up and I need to be ok with being just me as well as a mother.

As I thought about this and went through journals and other things I realized this wasn't the first time I had done something like this but for different reasons.  One of which was what kind of home I had wanted and some house rules the boys and I came up with to make our house a home.  The one thing that I realized was that I was not looking for perfection.  I didn't want some idea of perfection from the people in my life or myself.  I didn't want a perfectly clean and pristine house or life.  I wanted a life that was full of love, loyalty, and kindness.

After about a week of thinking and reading I had compiled my list of qualities for myself and I endeavored to write out this resolution.  I wrote and rewrote it.  After some tweaking I think I finally got it right.  I am in the process of getting it printed out on some nice paper and framed to put up in my home where I can see it often.  I am also printing out and framing the rules of our home that the boys helped me write and some mealtime rules as well.  Hopefully these reminders will help us all remember the kind of home that we want and the people we want to become.

These experiences have helped me understand myself and my family better.  It has also given me the chance to realize that everyone is different in the way we look at the world, our lives and all the possibilities.  I'm very grateful for all the blessings in my life and I think that the best way to show my gratitude is by choosing to be better.  I know this is a process and sometimes it will be easy but most of the time it will be work.  But those things that are the hardest are usually the most rewarding.

Just Do It!!

This was the slogan for Nike for years and maybe still is. I have decided to make it one of my slogans as well. There have been many times that I have thought I should do this or that. I should call a friend, have someone over, write an email, go for a walk, play a game with my kids, get in a good workout, etc... Instead of I should, I'm going to Just Do IT!!
 

A Question

What prevents me from fulfilling my potential?
A question I really need to ponder.  I wish I could take credit for it but my cousin actually posed the question.

Diamond in the rough

It's yet another new beginning for my family and I.  The beginning of a new school year.  With this new beginning as with others there are mixed emotions.  For the first time all three of my boys are in school.  Granted my youngest is only in preschool and it only meets twice a week for two hours but it is the beginning of more and more time away and more time by myself.  I am so proud of the boys that they are and so grateful that they have great teachers and that they love school.  But I can see that no matter what I do I can't stop them from growing up and I don't want to.  I miss them when they are away but know that these are things they need to do and I want them to.

Throughout this last year I have had to share my boys with their dad and it has been hard to not just shut myself into my room and not come out until they were home.  I know to begin with I needed to be numb just to get through some of this but I'm done being numb.  Now I'm not saying that I won't from time to time get some yummy take out and snuggle down in my bed with a good movie and just veg but I can't do it every time I am alone.  What kind of example would I be to my boys and what kind of life would that be for me?

A thought keeps running through my head that I need to find the diamond within.  We are all diamonds in the rough.  We have amazing potential, we are priceless, and we are all unique.  Instead of focusing on the things that I can't change about myself and my situation I need to take good long look at the things I am good at, the things I like about myself and then take control.  Take control of the things I can change to improve my life.  Instead of sitting in my room watching shows ALL day I can choose to  do some of the things I love to do like read or draw or play the piano.  I can choose to workout once a day because I know I feel better when I do.  I can choose to get out of the house and just go to the library or for a walk or go visit friends.  There is so much life to be lived and if I spend it being numb then I am missing out, not anyone else.  It is up to me to find the diamond within myself.  If I can't find it then it will be just that much harder for others to see it.

I want to be the mom my kids deserve and that means that I need to be striving to be my best self.  I have been entrusted with three of the most amazing boys and I need to make sure that I give them my all and that starts with taking charge of my life and showing them how to be joyful in the journey even when things are hard.  Sometimes life is a four-letter word and it is hard but if we can't focus on the good things in our lives and find joy in living then we are destined to a life of sadness.  We are being refined and made to shine if we will learn and grow from those hard things in our lives.  I like the quote, " I can do hard things."  We all can do hard things but it is how we do it that counts.  Lets find the diamond in ourselves and love the lives we have.

Recommiting

So like everyone else in this imperfect world I have had my set backs.  I have let the busyness of life get in the way of getting healthy.  I just went to the doctor and while there and talking with him I really felt that I need to make changes now and keep them going throughout my life.  As is the case with many people, genetics are against me as far as diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.  Since I know this, it is up to me to make sure that I do everything I can now and in the future to take care of myself.  I'm always talking about people taking responsibility for their choices.  Well this is one place I really need to step up and take responsibility.  I'm getting older and my body is changing and I need to accept that.  My metabolism is slowing down for one thing so I can't eat like a teenager anymore.  I get stiff and sore much easier than I used to but that shouldn't stop me from working out.  If I don't do everything I can to take care of this body that I have then who will?  I have three little boys that need me and I need to be there for them.   There are so many things, including health challenges, that are beyond our control.  But there are many things that I can and should control.  So I need to take control of the things that are important and let go of the things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.  I am recommitting to getting healthy and more active.

Aerobic Activity

Aerobic Activity

-The important thing is to find things that you like to do. There are so many options that there is something for everyone. Don't be afraid of trying new things and keep trying until you find things that you like.

-You also should mix it up. Don't do the same thing everyday. That gets boring and makes you want to do it even less.

-A Few Examples of fun things to do:

-kickboxing

-running

-walking (this is not strolling we are talking walking!!!)

-step aerobics

-swimming

-dancing

- hiking

-cycling

-spinning (stationary bike)

-zumba

-etc...

-Anything that will keep your heart rate in your target heart rate zone depending on age for thirty minutes is aerobic. So have fun with it. Sometimes I love to turn on music and dance around my house for thirty minutes or so. As long as it is consistently within the heart-rate zone for thirty minutes or more go for it.

-Target heart rate zone is 60-90% of your maximum heart rate. You find your maximum heart rate by subtracting your age from 220. So for example: I'm 33 years old so my maximum heart rate is 187. So 60 to 90 % of that is 112-168, so that is my target heart rate zone for aerobic activity.

-All of this depends on your health as well. If you have specific instructions from a doctor about your activity level then please follow your doctor's advice!!! We are trying to get healthy.

Doing Good

I know that there are days that all of us think, "what am I doing?" "Does whatI do make a difference?" I'm here to tell you that it does. What you do matters. You influence people everyday. It may be seemingly small things but to some it might mean all the difference. There are many people in my life that influence me everyday whether they know it or not. As long as we are going about doing good then we are being an influence for good. YOU MATTER!!! Remind yourself of that everyday and continue going about doing good.

To get inspired.

To get inspired I had someone tell me once to take a board or wall, whatever works in your house, and put things up that inspire you. That make you happy. It could be pictures of things, copies of paintings, pictures of people, poems, sayings, etc. Also when you are feeling kind of blah play music you know that will pick you up.

Get Inspired

Lately I have really thought about how much we need to be inspired. The funny thing is that there are inspiring things all around us but most of the time we are too busy to see them.

Nature is all around us and is such an amazing source of inspiration. The changes of the season. The cycle of life that every living thing goes through is amazing. The beauty of it all.

Music. For me music is very inspirational. Music can move me in ways that nothing else can. It can inspire me to dance, to ponder, to love, or even sometimes to fight.

Literature is inspiring, the beauty of it, the lessons learned, the characters. These can inspire us to look for the beauty around us. It can teach us to learn from others mistakes. With beautiful language we can learn to express ourselves better as well.

People. People can be inspiring. We all know people who inspire us to be better and most of the time they don't even know it. I think that is what we are all looking for to be inspired and to inspire.

We do have to be careful as to what we allow to inspire us. What do we fill our lives, our time with? Is it uplifting and inspire us to become our best selves? Or do we fill our lives with other things that are just meant to distract or even detract us from becoming what we could be. We all have the potential for greatness. We just need to believe in ourselves and allow ourselves to not just dream but to act upon those dreams.